Saturday, November 18, 2006 5:28:53 AM Last weekend Margaret and I went to a couples workshop called "Sex, Passion and Enlightenment," presented by Satyen Raja. He told us about male and female energies, and gave us an interpretation of developing our strengths with our primary energies in mind. It sounded a little backward to me, but that shouldn't have been too surprising in a philosophy that was thousands of years old. After the orientation, we were given exercises that emphasized the primary energy of our gender. During the male exercises I had a conversation with several other men regarding our life's purpose. One of the men in my group said he didn't know his life's purpose, and that he was OK with that for the moment. Another one said he was able to read energy and enjoyed public speaking. I went with what I was already doing, where I was already successful, and where I was already making money. I figured the Universe has guided me through income maximization. I described my work in changing the world through the creation of communications web sites, and I described how my efforts were leveraged through working in groups. I noted that my ability to coordinate and communicate in the groups enhanced my ability to create effective web sites. Several people in my group picked up on this aspect, and said I could go further if I concentrated more on the group coordination and less on the technology. Through contrast between my astonishment that some of the other men couldn't express a purpose, and their reminding me that I was a leader, I realized that I had been frustrated. I had reached the pinnacle of my effectiveness as an "individual contributor," and management was really the path upward from here. I was, in biological terms, an alpha bull. When Margaret saw me after this realization she saw leadership and poise, energies that she found attractive to her feminine side. I remembered that last year in Warrior Camp, when we were separated by chance into different groups, I had taken charge of my group. I decided that I would nurture my inner alpha bull, that I would take steps to move upward from here. I upgraded my appearance by leaving the polo shirts, jeans, and walking shoes behind. I started wearing slacks, pressed white shirts, jackets, and black leather shoes. I started carrying a briefcase again. I formed a walking group, and encouraged people to join and to enjoy the benefits of a daily walk at lunch. Now I have new responsibilities as a buildmaster. I am looking at the inside story of how my team's project has evolved over the years, and I am getting a clear picture of how the site is organized. All the developers notify me when they have made improvements to the software. I am learning new skills. On top of that, Thursday's walk was attended by five women and me. My inner alpha bull is being nurtured.